I understand (from watching ‘Big Love”) that “keep sweet” is a phrase frequently repeated  to and amongst young LDS women, and somehow it popped into my mind this morning, for reasons too convoluted to explain (although who knows, perhaps I will anyway).  So I googled the phrase and found a 2005 blog post from someone named Karen H. that I thought was really interesting, as were the comments on her post; I thought you might agree.

Ah, I can’t stand it:  the “keep sweet” thought came in church this morning.  As my faithful reader knows, I am a lifelong Episcopalian who became a Roman Catholic in 2000.  I’ve been struggling with some of the church’s teachings and have begun attending the 0830 communion service at a local Episcopal church.  There are usually 10-15 of us in the pews, and I’m normally among the five youngest.  The assigned priest, Fr. Jim,  is currently on sabbatical and we have a female priest leading us this month.  I like her a lot – and I like her homilies, which are relaxed and sensible.  This morning, there was another woman who spoke, and I don’t think she was an ordained priest but perhaps a deacon?  The regulars seemed to know her and no one was shocked that she spoke, so I think it’s just a case of my becoming more attuned to the changes that have occurred in “my” church over the two decades I’ve been away.  These two women certainly weren’t “sweet” in the sense I think the “Big Love” women mean.

After the service, I stayed for adult Sunday school, which was ending a 3-week discussion of hospices, including social workers, bereavement counselors, chaplains, and a nurse.  Very interesting, and of course the discussions brought up plenty of painful thoughts about my mother’s last years and her death.  I am carrying a very small purse these days (still trying to wean myself from reliance on anything of the sort, but not ready to clip my phone to my waistband or tuck my handkerchief into my sleeve), so while I was ducking my head to avoid looking like the crier I am (RC priests tried to avoid me in their confessional because I used up so many Kleenexes; in fact, that’s a big reason I switched to cloth handkerchiefs). . .as I say, I was ducking my head to avoid everyone seeing my eyes fill with tears and I rummaged in my purse.  Rummaged.  Please.  My purse holds two pens (I am a pen thief, but pretty much just from myself; if I cannot find a pen in the kitchen, on my desk, by the chair or sofa, I just go to my regular-duty purse and can usually find five or six there). . .two pens; a handkerchief; two Field Notes notebooks; a receipt from Antonelli’s; lip salve & hand cream; a small leather* container for my driver’s license, credit card, and folding money**; iPhone; and keys, which took up most of the space***.  Got hold of myself and opened a notebook and – finally, the point! – found a note I’d made to myself about something I wanted to write in my blog if I ever started up again****.  And here it is:

3-21-12:  Sugar Mama’s Bakeshop [link] Their s’mores are amazing.  I noted that I usually eat 1/3 – 1/2 of a purchased dessert but that day I ate entire thing (although not at one sitting).  Wow, it was good!  Also, they have frosting shots:  cherry limeade is what I got that day – 75 cents for a little paper cup of heaven.  Made me think of my Grandpa Sly, who always told me he preferred the cake to the frosting and the crust to the pie filling, so I should eat the part he didn’t like and he’d eat my crust & cake.  What a great man!  I have been back twice since then and bought their mint chocolate chip bars, which have a layer of white creamy mint frosting topped with a thin layer of dark chocolate.  Yummmmmm.  They remind me in a way of a lovely treat from an old, old Betty Crocker (I think) cookbook, probably from the mid-60s:  a layer of brownie, topped with a layer of soft browned-butter icing and then a thin layer of bitter chocolate sauce.  Oh my, they were good.  Anyway, you can see the connection to “keep sweet,” right?  Sweet desserts; sweet church ladies; sweet me.  Totally worth examining my subconscious to lay that all out for you.  (Hmmm, wonder if Unconscious Mutterings is still going on…..why, yes, it is!  Yay. )

As for hospice:  I’m going to get a Texas medical power of attorney.  I know my family is well aware I do NOT want extraordinary measures taken to keep me alive if the decision has to be made and I know they will regard my wishes in this matter, but I don’t want there to be any problems if the time comes that someone needs to make this known to a medical facility.  Were you aware that in TX, EMTs must do CPR unless there’s an out-of-hospital DNR (do not resuscitate) statement in possession of a competent adult on the scene?  Probably a good thing – most certainly a good thing – but important to keep in mind if one ever gets to the state of health that such a thing needs to be invoked.

Speaking of sweet, as I was at one point:  sweet Bailey is a barker, and that just doesn’t work well in apartment living.  So when I went to church this morning I put him in his cage with his bed & his toy (a stuffed animal that squeaks; he loves the messy thing & knows just where to hold it to make it squeak).  He didn’t bark as I left the apartment, nor did I hear him one bit as I walked down the hallway.  When I got back, he was happy to see me but wanted to get out of the apartment right away.  I let him out into the courtyard to pee, which he did, but then he slipped through the bars into the dog-walking area, which is off-limits to him unless he’s leashed (he knows the rules; I’ve explained them to him a number of times already).  I hurried out, only to find him pooping on the grass, exactly where he was supposed to go.  He was desperate – and then quite relieved.  He was a full little dog, I must say.  He then sniffed a little bit, raised his leg once or twice, and happily came back to me and willingly went back into the apartment.  Good – and sweet – dog!

Hope your dogs are doing well, too

*I saw two purses advertised in a magazine, one was a soft, rich, expensive leather and the other was  described as “vegan ostrich leather.”  Hah!

**Folding money:  this morning, it was $9.  Sad.  Now it’s $3.  Good thing is that it’s nearly June 30th and payday.  I think I have sufficient pasta in the pantry to make it; I certainly have sufficient cheese – and, possibly, gin.

***Bizarre, really, considering I only need to access my car (one key) and my apartment (one key), but there’s the fob to access the garage and the interior of the apartment building and the key to the post box and the plastic card that identifies me as eligible for certain discounts for living where I do and the collection of similar plastic cards from CVS, the library, a liquor store in Florida, Panera’s, Books-a-Million, and the Best Buy Reward Zone.  Also, a cute Hello Kitty decoration, Arlo’s rabies tag, and a flashlight.  Hmm, it’s going to be difficult to go without a purse when I have to find room for this collection of crap…..OK.  All better now.

****Occurs to me now this may have something to do with why I stopped blogging and why I have so few readers.